None of us is immune to stress and anxiety – it is a normal and inevitable part of life - but as you hit your late 40s and early 50s you are likely to have more, and new, stressors to contend with. For example, you are probably at the age where you might have elderly and/or ill parents; your children might be heading off to university and/or leaving home; you might be overworked and/or more at risk of redundancy; it could be that you suddenly have health worries such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol to think about and coping with all of these stresses can mean that your relationship become neglected leaving that in a potentially vulnerable state. The sad fact is that various studies point to a significant downturn in well-being during midlife.1 Plus as you reach this ‘half way’ stage of life you might have a growing sense of your own mortality and fear time is running out to achieve or experience what you want. Add the andropause into the mix – a condition linked to low testosterone in ageing men with symptoms that include low energy, low libido, erectile dysfunction, putting on weight, sleep problems, mood swings and depression – and you can see how this is unlikely to alleviate your stress. The question is how do you manage it and stop it spiralling out of control?
How stress impacts your body and brain
When you get stressed your body responds by producing stress hormones including adrenaline and cortisol. This is an evolutionary response which helps your body to react to immediate danger - triggering a ‘fight or flight’ response involving your heart rate increasing, more rapid breathing and/or feeling shaky. While cortisol typically helps you to manage short-term stress (it is known to help regulate blood pressure, for example) being exposed to it for a prolonged period is known to cause health concerns including digestive problems, weight gain, insulin sensitivity, headaches, sleep problems, anxiety, depression and memory and concentration issues. There is also evidence to show that psychological stress puts you more at risk of cardiovascular disease2 and that job-related stress also increases this risk3. It is also thought that chronic stress can cause structural changes in the brain which can have an adverse effect on memory, concentration and learning4. In addition, cortisol can affect dopamine pathways in the body potentially reducing the release of this hormone which is responsible for … resulting in conditions like depression and anhedonia (a condition characterised by flat-lining of emotions where you feel no real pleasure in anything)5.
Stress has also been found to lower testosterone6. This is because cortisol and testosterone levels have an inverse relationship in that the two hormones interact in a kind of see-saw fashion – so when one is low, the other goes high. If your testosterone levels are already low due to the andropause this is already likely to make you feel tired and stressed and more prone to anxiety and depressive symptoms, so creating a double whammy of stressors.
Tips for managing stress during midlife and andropause
Going through periods of prolonged or chronic stress is more likely to lead to bad habits like drinking too much, smoking, taking recreational drugs, overeating, not sleeping well and exercising less. Focusing on a generally healthy lifestyle such as regular exercise, a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, whilst making time for doing things you enjoy with people you love will all help. What else can help you navigate your way through mid-life stress?
Sleep is a potent, and free, stress reducer
Helping to regulate your mood, improve concentration, sharpen your judgement and making you less likely to react negatively to stressful situations. In short, it helps you to deal with, and recover from, stress faster and reduce feelings of anxiety. When you are sleep-deprived your body produces more cortisol. Getting less than five hours sleep a night has been linked to cortisol-related issues like high blood pressure and less resilience to stress.7 Ideally try to get between seven and nine hours a night.
Keep a lid on the alcohol
It might seem like a stress reliver made in heaven – kicking back with a few beers or wines at the end of a stressful day but alcohol affects the delicate balance of neurotransmitters in your brain which can have a negative effect on your mental health8. Heavy drinking also increases cortisol levels and even moderate drinking can increase anxiety and have an adverse effect on memory and concentration. Booze is also likely to affect the quality of your sleep – causing you to spend less time in the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage of sleep (the phase when most dreaming occurs and which is important for learning and memory) which then makes stress harder to deal with, so creating a vicious stressful cycle.
Find stress relieving techniques that work for you.
Evidence shows mindfulness (where you learn to be fully present and ‘in the moment’ rather than obsessing about the past or catastrophising about the future) to be an effective strategy9. Other beneficial stress-busters include regular cardiovascular exercise, Yoga, deep breathing, listen to calming music, taking long hikes in the countryside, having a regular massage or sauna. Find what works for you and do it regularly.
Eat well
Eating a nutritious balanced diet and eating regularly should help to keep you generally healthy and balance your blood sugar levels making you better able to cope with stress. Avoid too much sugar, caffeine, alcohol and/or refined carbohydrates (such as white processed bread, white pasta, white rice or cakes, biscuits and pastries) which are known to cause a stress response in the body – triggering rapid spikes in blood glucose (so your body has to produce insulin to help bring it down again) and with it a related increase in cortisol levels.
Exercise. Sustained periods of exercising produce endorphins which can potentially produce a sense of euphoria and significantly improve your mood. Exercise also boosts, and helps maintain, testosterone levels. It should also help you sleep better. Just don’t overdo it: extreme exercising without giving your body time to recover can put stress on your body and is a well-documented cause of low testosterone.10
Communicate better.
Sometimes a conversation or hug with a loved one or friend can be all you need to rapidly dissipate stress but it can also help to think about how well are you currently communicating with those closet to you. For instance, you may be consumed by things that are going on your career to the detriment of your relationship and if there is less energy going into your relationship your partner is likely to feel neglected and possibly unsupported. But relationships need cultivating to flourish and thrive and communication is key. Ask yourself: are you both getting what you want from the relationship? Are you actively listening to each other and feeling heard? Are you making an effort to spend quality time together? If not, it is likely that one or both of you is feeling unseen and possibly uncared for and resentful and this is when relationships start to falter and become a huge source of stress. Taking time to regularly check in with each other and talk can help to avoid relationship tensions.
Cry
We’re conditioned into thinking ‘real men don’t cry’, that it is a sign of weakness and you should ‘man up’ but it takes courage to be vulnerable. Significantly too, keeping difficult feelings bottled up inside can lead to what is known as repressive coping which studies show can lead to a compromised immune system and may increase high blood pressure and heart disease11. It is also linked to increased stress, anxiety and depression. Having a good old cry acts as a kind of release valve, activating the parasympathetic nervous system into helping your body to restore itself to a calmer state. Your tears also release stress hormones like cortisol which also help dilute stressful feelings12.
Have regular bad news breaks
Constantly ‘doom scrolling’ or reading upsetting news stories in newspapers or watching them on tv can exacerbate stress and anxiety because you are largely powerless to control or change anything that is happening in the wider world.
Get professional help – if you don’t feel comfortable sharing how you feel with your partner or a friend, or your mental health seems to be getting worse and you are not coping, see your GP or a therapist to help address the issues you are going through. Help can be accessed in person or online.
Further resources
MIND – offers free mental health support
CALM – a suicide prevention charity
Men’s Minds Matter – a charity set up to tackle men’s mental health and suicide prevention
Men’s Health Forum – offers 24/7 support for men via text, email or chat in England, Wales or Scotland
References
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8525618/
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7603890/
- https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11886-015-0630-8
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5579396/
- https://applications.emro.who.int/imemrf/105/Egypt-J-Neurol-Psychiatry-Neurosurg-2016-53-4-193-197-eng.pdf
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37014073/
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9415946/
- https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/mental-health/alcohol-and-stress
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7511255/
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32082255/
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22081940/
- https://www.talkspace.com/blog/does-crying-relieve-stress/
